Today we celebrate the 36th birthday of Kim Kardashian, the world’s first lady of self-branding. Seriously: girlfriend went from Heidi Montag’s closet organizer to one of the most sought-after women on the planet in a matter of years, proving that if you takes control of your destiny, you may also land your own reality show or book about selfies.
So, to commemorate such an auspicious occasion, we’ve rounded up 35 of Kim K’s greatest moments. Because while we can’t afford to buy her anything she probably doesn’t have, gifs are truly the gifts that keep on . . . gif-ing.
Let me live.
1. Commemorating Khloe’s jail term with selfies
Which, in her defense, is probably the easiest way to avoid talking to somebody heading to jail.
2. A cry-face unlike no other
Because it takes guts to acknowledge one’s emotions, and even more to do it via national broadcast.
3. Tumblr Queen™
And with only one sentence, Kim Kardashian gave us all the ultimate line to include on our resumes.
4. Instagram and Chill
The ultimate comeback to anyone who tells you to please put your phone away (this is a funeral).
5. To Emoji or not to Emoji
Or: how to talk to your parents about text messaging.
6. The Kanye-orchestrated photoshoot
Blonde hair, don’t care (btw this is how I dress every day).
7. Pregnancy confirmation (via selfie)
But okay, seriously: opting to combat the rumour mill via complete transparency is a bold move for anyone, let alone a celebrity who doesn’t owe us anything. But alas, Kim took to her bedroom and proved she’s pregnant with her second child earlier this year, epitomizing the sentiment, “Your move, haters.”
8. “Can I live?”
I mean, can she?
9. Night vision accountability
Of course, the first thing anti-Kardashian protestors will bring up is Kim’s sex tape. However, she doesn’t hide or shy away from it — instead, she owns it accordingly. This time, being very quick to remind that her’s doesn’t include night vision, thanks.
10. The cry-face continued
Because it’s an art, and we must remember that.
11. Bora Bora and the lost earrings
Is perspective anybody’s strong suit, though?
12. The Paper cover
Regardless of your feelings for Ms. Kardashian, you can probably name no other humans willing to approach nudity in such an interesting, artistic way.
…and other ways to deliver bad news.
14. Outsourcing: mermaids
Or probably the best way to begin a first date.
15. That selfie
In which we can throw our Emoji hands in the air and praise whatever-higher-powers-that-be that Kim Kardashian’s self esteem is strong enough to inspire us all.
16. The love between Kim and Kanye
Reminder: real love is built on comedy and sarcasm.
17. No, but honestly: Kim + Kanye forever
Reminder: real love is built on making fun of award shows.
18. The motto
Dedicated to our generation.
19. Kim, the selfie, and an elephant
Proving that sometimes — very rarely though — selfies aren’t the best idea.
20. Bound 2
Sure, it got sent up a bit (thanks to James Franco and Seth Rogen), but kudos to Kanye for putting his partner in crime front and centre, giving us a music video to show to any prospective suitor and say, “Well? When are we recreating this?”
21. The Vogue cover
One small step for man, one giant leap for an industry that had obviously begun taking Kim Kardashian and Kanye West seriously. Both as fashion heavyweights and as contributors to the business.
22. Selfie pep talks
Because again, Kim reminds that selfies are great, normal, natural, and a thing everyone does, even if they never talk about it.
23. The anti-food porn movement
Or, my favourite thing said by any human.
24. Kim and Kanye’s wedding photo
One of the most-liked Instagram photos for a reason. Love is real, you guys.
25. Her single, “Jam”
A song that proves music isn’t for everyone, but damn it: at least she tried.
26. North, front and centre
The good news: Kim Kardashian is obviously a hands-on mom. The bad: had we been sitting beside her, we also would’ve looked like Beyonce, Jay, and Anna Wintour.
Arguably, Kim could’ve hidden her contouring secrets, and fronted as though she had no idea what the technique was. But instead, she displayed transparency again, not just telling us she contoured, but showing us how to do it ourselves. Namaste.
28. Bringing us to: Mario Masterclass
Because Kim teaming up with makeup artist Mario Dedivanovic for a makeup class is like inviting us all to a slumber party where our makeup’s done for us. Or so I keep telling myself.
29. The blonde hair
Just in case we wanted to know if she could pull off blonde hair. (Yes.)
30. Kim Kardashian: Hollywood
And in that moment, I swear we were all gamers
31. The art of subtlety
It’s an art to send a message so discreetly.
Frankly, the fact that a Presidential candidate has yet to use this in their platform is a disgrace.
33. An appreciation of wine
Or, an appreciation of escaping reality via glasses of wine.
34. Sibling rivalry
Inspiring us to throw a shoe every time someone we’re related to is taking things too far.
So don’t blame us if we missed the point on any of these, and don’t blame Kim if she ever lets you down.
The post Happy Birthday, Kim Kardashian-West! Relive her Most Memorable Moments appeared first on FASHION Magazine.