Remember when Taylor Swift wrote pop-infused country songs to help us get over heartbreak? Well, apparently that Taylor is dead. In her place, we have a Taylor who doesn’t know how to get over anything.
The video for Swift’s new single, “Look What You Made Me Do,” dropped at Sunday’s VMAs — and yikes. Taylor throws shade like
Jordan Belfort Leonardo DiCaprio throws hundred dollar bills. Obviously, like the classy pop princess she is, Taylor makes her shade throwing very “discreet”. (But like, not too discreet for anyone well versed in pop culture to notice and spread the heat like wildfire across social media.)
Look, I’m sorry Taylor, but you made me do it. I spy with my little eye…
1. A missing squad member
Calling all dead Taylors! Re-creating a look from her 2009 video, “You Belong With Me,” Taylor wears a t-shirt that reads “Junior Jewels” in marker along with a bunch of names of her friends. The 2017 updated version includes Taylor’s real BFFs, including the following names: Alana [Haim], Danielle [Haim], Este [Haim], Lena [Dunham], Ed [Sheeran], Blake [Lively] & Ryan [Reynolds], Selena [Gomez], Todrick [Hall], Gigi [Hadid], Patrick [Stewart], Abigail [Anderson], Claire [Kislinger], Lily [Aldridge], and Martha [Hunt].
But wait: where are Lorde and Karlie Kloss?! Surely, there’s some “Blank Space” on that shirt to include the names of these two key squad members. Maybe that wasn’t the problem…if this video proves anything, it’s that Taylor pays scary close attention to detail.
2. A bathtub full of jewellery
Bathtub? Jewellery? In our current pop culture climate, these symbols means one thing: Kim Kardashian’s Paris robbery. As you likely remember, Kim K was tied up in a bathtub at gunpoint and robbed of her diamonds. Is Taylor’s video scene a coincidental parallel? We hope so. Alluding to a traumatic event would be pretty darn petty — and cruel.
3. A Katy Perry look-a-like
The battle of the pop stars lives on! This T-Swift pony-tail-flipped-over-foreheard hairstyles looks an awful lot like Perry’s new cropped do. And she’s holding a Grammy…which FYI Katy Perry has never won. SHADE.
4. A streaming company
With bats swinging, Swift breaks into a bank vault that boasts the name “Stream Co.” One can only assume that the violent gesture references the singer’s (very dramatic) battle with streaming services back in 2014. Swift’s since come back, making her discography available to Spotify, Tidal, and other services earlier this year.
5. A Hiddleswift tank
Remember when Tom Hiddleston wore an “I ♥ T.S.” tank-top to Swift’s 2016 Fourth of July party? Of course you do. In a fleeting romance full of cringe-worthy moments, this egregious display of apparel affection was perhaps the cringiest. We’ll never forget 2016’s Hiddleswift, and neither will Hiddle or Swift.
6. A single dollar bill
There’s a the single dollar bill in Swift’s bathtub of jewels, and we seriously hope it’s a nod to the $1 she won in her sexual assault case against former radio DJ David Mueller.
We’re sure there are plenty more. See how many you can spot in the video below!